


Prostitute Papyrus

by Kamari333



Category: Undertail - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Ecto-Genitalia (Undertale), Ectobiology, F/M, Other, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Prostitution, Sensual Play, Tail Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 17:24:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15029519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamari333/pseuds/Kamari333
Summary: Papyrus wants to help people. Papyrus wants to make everyone else believe in themselves. Papyrus wants to prove that he is the greatest. Papyrus wants recognition.So when he finds out he can get paid to do all of that??NYEH HEH HEH.





	Prostitute Papyrus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rehlia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rehlia/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sounds kind of Fishy](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15024656) by [rehliamonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rehliamonster/pseuds/rehliamonster). 



> Inspired by the [Prostitute Sans Series](https://archiveofourown.org/series/824832) by Rehlia. Which is honestly better so go read that.

Papyrus was catching up on the latest episode of his favorite Mettaton show, when he heard the lock to the cabin door click. He quickly turned the TV off, sitting back on the couch and folding his hands primly on his lap, awaiting what was to be his latest in an impressively long line of customers.

Papyrus loved his job.

He got to help people! Make them feel good about themselves!

And if he got a little something out of it too? Well, that was just icing on the proverbial cake. Honestly, he would probably do this for free, if that didn't make his customers uncomfortable. Plus, the extra money _did_ help fund the puzzle ideas he wanted to try. For example, the materials for that colored tile puzzle he hired Alphys to help him with had been somewhat expensive; which is a nice way of saying that, in a culture that subsists primarily on human garbage and natural ore deposits, electrical pieces are obscenely hard to come by and therefore cost an obscene amount of money unless you are lucky enough to find them in the dump yourself, but even then Papyrus is not as adept in electronics as he probably should be and wouldn't have known how to refurbish the discarded parts anyway without professional assistance, which is also obscenely expensive.

So you could understand why he was excited to take on yet another exciting new client!

Who was walking through the door right now, using the secret key, which they could only have found after using the clues hidden in the acceptance letter passed to them through a third party.

Papyrus had standards, after all. It wouldn't be very welcoming if there wasn't a puzzle or two involved.

His client opened the door and flipped on the lights to reveal...

"UNDYNE??" Papyrus chirped in surprise. he... honestly hadn't expected this at all.

"Papyrus?!?!?!?!" Undyne gasped, even more shocked than he was.

Papyrus grinned. "HOW NICE!! WE CAN SKIP THE INTRODUCTIONS!! UNLESS YOU WOULD PREFER THEM TO KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL?"

"P-Papyrus?? W-what are you... doing... here???" Undyne looked around the cabin, closing the door behind her to keep out the Snowdin chill.

"WELL, I WAS WATCHING THE LATEST METTATON EPISODE, BUT NOW I AM ON THE CLOCK, SO YOU HAVE MY FULL UNDIVIDED ATTENTION."

"No, I mean what are you doing _here_ , in _this_ cabin?? As opposed to in your house??"

Papyrus felt his grin tighten. "UNDYNE. YOU GOT THE LETTER. YOU GOT THE KEY. THE QUESTION IS, WHAT ARE _YOU_ DOING HERE."

Undyne stood there staring at him. He sighed. He expected this to happen at some point. The underground was small, and he offered a wide range of services. He had just hoped... He didn't know what he hoped, but he had hoped. "IF THIS IS TOO AWKWARD FOR YOU, I UNDERSTAND. I CAN OFFER YOU ANOTHER REFERRAL, ALTHOUGH I CANNOT GUARANTEE THEY WILL BE AS GREAT AS ME."

Undyne continued to stand there, then burst out laughing. "OH MY GOD!! This is- oh my god, Papyrus, are you KIDDING?!?! Since WHEN?!?!"

Papyrus thought about it. "A YEAR MAYBE?? IT STARTED WHEN I NEEDED THAT EXTRA FUNDING FOR MY PUZZLES. I VERY MUCH WANT TO BE A GUARD BUT I CANNOT FUND ALL OF MY HOBBIES ON A TRAINEE'S SALERY, AND I CAN'T ASK SANS TO PAY FOR MY THINGS WHEN I KNOW HE ALREADY HAS BILLS. PLUS, THEN THERE WERE ALL THE KITCHEN FIRES, AND MY COMPUTER NEEDED REPAIRED, AND THAT TREADMILL FOR SANS THAT HE ONLY USES FOR JAPES NO MATTER HOW MUCH I NAG." He shrugged. "AND WHATS LEFT OVER I CAN SQUIRREL AWAY FOR THAT CAR I WANT TO BUY WHEN WE GET TO THE SURFACE!! AND A NEW TELESCOPE FOR SANS!!! AND MAYBE THIS TIME I CAN HELP BUY THE NEW HOUSE INSTEAD OF HAVING SANS DO ALL OF IT."

Undyne just stared at him. "You skeletons..." She muttered, fondly. Then she kicked the snow off her boots and sat down beside him on the couch. "Think we can do this without making it weird?"

"I SEE NO REASON WHY NOT?? I AM A PROFESSIONAL!!"

Undyne took a deep breath. "The guy who referred me to you said you were, 'an eccentric personality who would do anything, and take anything, and had extraordinary magic control.'"

"I HAVE ALSO BEEN DESCRIBED AS EAGER TO PLEASE, WHICH I AM. SO NOW THAT I KNOW ITS YOU..." Papyrus grinned slyly. "IS THIS ABOUT ALPHYS?? WANT TO PRACTICE HOW TO WOO HER ROMANTICALLY AND SEXUALLY??"

"Oh my god, Paps..!" Undyne blushed, punching him not-so-lightly on the arm.

"YOU REALIZE I WOULD HAVE HELPED YOU GLADLY FOR FREE, BUT NOW I HAVE TO CHARGE YOU FULL PRICE," he continued to tease.

"What, no besties discount??" Undyne fake whined. "No, thats fair. I'm kinda asking for a lot..."

"NOT REALLY. THIS IS ONE OF THE TAMER REQUESTS I HAVE GOTTEN," Papyrus brushed it off, ignoring the look of horror on Undyne's face at the implications of his comment. "YOU HAVE NO REASON TO FEEL ASHAMED!! ITS WONDERFUL THAT YOU WANT TO TRY NEW THINGS, ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS TO MAKE SOMEONE YOU LOVE HAPPY!!"

Undyne blushed harder. "If anyone else talked to me like that, I would DECK them," she growled playfully, putting him in a headlock and giving him a nuggie. "You sappy dork!!"

"PLEASE DO NOT NUGGIE THE SKELETON!!" Papyrus pleaded, laughing along with her. This was what she needed, something familiar to ease the tension. He was glad he had gotten his friend (and client!) to relax.

When they pulled apart, Papyrus rolled his neck. "NOW, BEFORE WE ACTUALLY GET TO IT, I WANT TO GO OVER MY SPECIAL RULES."

"You too?" Undyne blurted.

"SPECIAL RULES ARE APPARENTLY VERY COMMON," Papyrus admitted, smiling. "FIRSTLY, SANS IS NEVER TO KNOW. EVER." Papyrus loved his older brother very much, and he disliked keeping secrets from him. However, as benign a secret as this was, he knew (or perhaps he feared) that Sans would become worried for him, overprotective. Or, worse yet, disapprove. Papyrus was not so naive as to think this line of work was without controversy. In a way, any worries Sans might have could rationally be justified, especially given the preferences of Papyrus' regular clientele. But Papyrus was an adult, and he knew his limits.

"I get it. Nobody wants their big brother knowing about their sexcapades," Undyne said. Papyrus grinned wider.

"EXACTLY!! SECONDLY, MY SAFE WORD IS BLUE. IF I SAY THAT, EVERYTHING STOPS. AND IF YOU DO NOT STOP, I WILL MAKE YOU." Papyrus let Undyne digest that. She nodded solemnly, grinning herself now. Papyrus judged that this was the point his friend began to see that he was, in fact, a professional. "IN THE EVENT THAT A GAG IS UTILIZED, MY POLICY IS TO USE BLUE MAGIC AS THE SIGNAL. HOWEVER, I DO NOT THINK THAT WILL BE RELEVANT TO TONIGHT."

"Nope. But good to know you have a backup plan," Undyne responded, meaning it. Papyrus flushed with pride. It was always nice to hear someone approved of him, and Undyne's approval was especially valued. She was his trusted friend, and respected commanding officer, after all.

"THIRDLY," Papyrus paused. This was usually the one that threw some of his customers off. "THIRDLY, YOU AS THE CUSTOMER HAVE TO CLIMAX FIRST."

"..What?"

The skeleton cleared his nonexistent throat. "THIS JOB IS ABOUT MAKING MY CLIENTS, YOU, SATISFIED. AS SUCH, I MAKE IT MY POLICY THAT, REGARDLESS OF THE ACTIVITIES, MY CLIENT MUST ALWAYS REACH ORGASM BEFORE ME. IN THE CASE WHERE THEY PREFER TO TAKE CONTROL, OR WHEN THE ACTIVITIES REQUESTED CLASH WITH THIS, USUALLY THERE WILL BE A MOMENT PRIOR TO THE SESSION WHERE I SERVICE THEM IN AN ADDITIONAL WAY, FREE OF CHARGE, IN ORDER TO SATISFY MY CONDITION." Papyrus shrugged. "I HAVE VERY HIGH STANDARDS."

Undyne sat there looking at Papyrus, something in her expression telling him there were a lot of things she wanted to say about this, but couldn't. He waited, patiently, for her to come to a decision.

"So, uh, I guess in my case... we'd need to do... that..." Undyne finally conceded.

"WELL," Papyrus chuckled. "THAT WOULD MAKE THINGS EASIER ON _ME_. BUT. IN YOUR CASE, THAT MAY NOT ENTIRELY BE NECESSARY. HOWEVER, IF THE WAY YOU WANT THE NIGHT TO GO WOULD MAKE THAT EASIER ON YOU, I AM HAPPY TO OBLIGE."

Undyne seemed to think this over. "Yeah... The way I want it, I don't want you to hold back. So, I guess I gotta let you take care of me first?"

"EXCELLENT!!" Papyrus then pulled out the carefully handwritten receipt he had drawn up, itemizing each specific act Undyne had asked for in her request letter, along with the total. Undyne looked it over, then payed it without argument. Papyrus loved when his clients appreciated his orderly methodology.

"NOW THAT THAT IS SETTLED," Papyrus chirped happily, unwinding his scarf from his neck and folding it carefully, setting it on the table. "MY NEXT QUESTION IS HOW YOU WISH TO BE SERVICED FOR YOUR COMPLEMENTARY ORGASM?? I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE A PREFERENCE FOR FEMALE ANATOMY, BUT IS THERE A PARTICULAR ACT YOU HAVE A DESIRE FOR??"

Undyne striped her shirt off, dropping it (along with the rest of her clothes) messily to the floor. Papyrus carefully schooled his expression so as not to show his distaste for the disorderly exhibition, instead focusing on removing his own Battle Body and setting it neatly aside.

"Can you make anything?" Undyne finally asked.

"I HAVE YET TO COME ACROSS A REQUEST THAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS WAS UNABLE TO FULFILL!!"

"How about a tail?" She asked, tentatively.

Papyrus just grinned wider, as he finished stripping and folding his clothes.

If Papyrus understood one thing about his job, it was that, most of the time, his clients didn't pay to have _him_ , they payed to pretend he was someone else. It was his job to make their fantasies, their hopes and dreams, as tangible as he was capable. Usually, he would have probed more in the beginning, gotten more details... but Papyrus knew Undyne. He already knew exactly what (exactly _who_ ) she wanted. And he was going to give it to her, if only for a little while.

Posing heroically, Papyrus got to work with his magic. In moments, his pelvis glowed brightly the color of his magic, originally a burnt orange, but which he changed to a honey golden color with only a bit of effort. A shapely ecto-body grew, encasing and forming his toned frame from his false ribs to his patella. He made sure to from feminine parts (knowing Undyne's preferences), and after making the base, adjusted his body type to something more... plump, and full. Then, from his shapely butt he grew a thick, lizard-like tail, wider at the base and coming to a point at the tip.

He made sure to model the size and specs of this new appendage to Undyne's tastes as well, wiggling his bone brows suggestively. "I BELIEVE YOU WILL FIND IT TO YOUR SATISFACTION."

Undyne stared in what was almost comical shock, watching the way Papyrus swished his tail back and forth, testing the weight and how it changed his balance. She might have been drooling a bit.

Papyrus turned gracefully, giving the fish another angle to view. "SHALL WE ADJORN TO THE BEDROOM??" He asked, lowering the usual volume of his voice.

That shook Undyne out of her stupor. "You punk! You CAN use an indoor voice!!"

Papyrus laughed, gesturing to the bedroom and going in. He waited for Undyne to follow, then gently guided her to the bed. Papyrus closed the door with BLUE magic, sending the room into a twilight darkness, the only source of light the glow from his summoned skin and smoldering eyelights. "IS IT SAFE TO ASSUME THAT YOU WANT ME TO USE THIS TAIL??"

"You always were good at puzzles," Undyne teased, gripping it and kneading at the flesh. "Its stiffer than I expected..."

"IT SHOULD HAVE AN IDENTICAL CONSISTENCY TO REPTILIAN SKIN, COMPLETE WITH LAYERED SCALES AND LEATHER LIKE RESISTANCE." When Undyne bristled, blushed bright pink and stared at him, Papyrus snickered. "I AM VERY DETAIL ORIENTED."

"No wonder you come so highly recommended..." Undyne practically purred, carefully guiding the tail between her legs. Papyrus got the message, undulating the muscular appendage to grind up into the fish's cloaca. Undyne let out a gasp, not expecting the movement (for some reason Papyrus could not fathom). She sat down on the bed, leaning on her arms, her iridescent blue scales shimmering in the low light given off from his body. Even in the twilight he could see her shiver.

Papyrus finished sculpting the rest of his body, his magic surging upward to form a pair of sizable (but not particularly round) breasts, adjusting their specs until he was satisfied with their authenticity. He found, like every other time he had been asked to make flesh, that his body was heavy and unresponsive, but he adjusted after a few stretches well enough to suit his (and more importantly, his client's) needs. He spent another moment to finish summoning legs, shifting from one foot to another to complete the soles. He then straddled Undyne and pulled her into a warm, fleshy hug.

Undyne gripped onto him, squeezing and playing with his body, exploring it. The approving hum was music to Papyrus' ears. He threaded his now soft, cushioned fingers through Undyne's crimson hair, a sensual, intimate gesture that had a nearly immediate impact, as he felt her get even more wet and hot against his tail. Papyrus then started probing at her entrance with the tip, and, finding little resistance, pressed onward. Undyne stiffened in his arms, her insides clenching in time with her fingers. He moved slowly, easy and careful, making his motions almost timid, probing, curious. Then, he had the motions grow bolder, more sure of themselves, and more enthusiastic.

For once, Undyne was nearly silent. It was ironic to see his drill sergeant reduced to heavy panting and choked off whimpers by tender affection (and if Papyrus was honest, it was absolutely adorable). He sped up the motions of his tail, squeezing his thighs tighter around her hips and waist, as if trying to pull her closer in. He bucked his hips in time with her clenching, grinding his clit into her sculpted midriff as though just feeling her come undone in his arms was enough to get him off.

That wasn't entirely a lie. Papyrus wasn't ashamed to say that he had a thing for seeing (and actively taking part in causing) other people's enjoyment.

More importantly, though, these subtle little details fed into the greater illusion that Papyrus was crafting.

It didn't take long after that; soon Papyrus felt Undyne stiffen in his hold, her inner walls spasming and clamping down on his tail almost painfully, her one good eye rolling back into her head as she clawed at his back hard enough to leave marks. She didn't make a sound, but her breathing was erratic and battered at his breasts in quick, hot bursts. He continued to move his tail, grinding into that spongy spot that made her shudder and drawing out her ecstasy as long as possible. He didn't let up until he felt her go limp in his hold, her grip on him becoming gentle as she nuzzled into his bosom.

Papyrus smirked victoriously, playing idly with her hair; one victory was not an excuse to break this illusion. It was up to Undyne when she was ready to come back from it.

It had to have been ten minutes before Undyne finally pulled her face from his chest, blinking up at him. "You... are way too good at that..."

"NYEH HEH HEH. VICTORY. FOR. THE GREAT PAPYRUS."

He knew this was only the beginning of the night (after all, Undyne had hired him for some very specific "training practice"), but as far as Papyrus was concerned, he had already done his job.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna do the bit where Undyne basically tests every kink she's ever seen in the hentai she borrowed from Alphys, finding out what she's okay with and what she's not, most of which she can't practice with Sans because Sans can't take abuse and won't be an active participant....
> 
> But I like ending it here so maybe in another installation? When I get inspired? IDK I dont even know if this is any good writing smut for classic paps is hard


End file.
